- Batffleck - Ben Affleck as Batman. WHAT?!?!?!? It's funny how, just a few months ago, we were all screaming about how snubbed Ben was by the Oscars (Argo - Best Director. Anybody? No? Ok.) and now we can only remember him for Daredevil and Gigli. I mean, come on. Before Heath Ledger was the Joker he was Jacob Grimm, a role we all wish we could forget.
- Orson Scott Card - WHAT?!?!?!?!? I'd like to take a moment and write an open letter to Hollywood: Dear People With Money, All novelists are not crazy and most of us would actually LIKE to see a movie adaptation of our book succeed. Signed: Isaiah Campbell (ps. contact my agent for those movie rights you're obviously looking for.)
- The NSA - WHAT?!?!?!? Come on, guys, if you're going to throw the conspiracy theorists a bone, at least warn the writing community first. Spread the wealth, man. Now if only they'd tell us Area 51 exists.
- Area 51 is real - WHAT?!?!?!?!? Dang it! I don't even have a good alien story lying around to send to my agent. Come on! Advanced warning! Please!
- Twinkies are back - WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!? It's strange how I haven't wanted a Twinkie in at least twenty years but now I crave them every time I go to the store.
Alright, I think that about covers everything. Keep on keeping on, Internet. DFTBA. Excelsior. Stay classy. And, from all of us here at Metro News One, have a good evening.