Sunday, August 25, 2013

Catching up on current events...

Wow! There's been a lot of things happening in the world recently and, sadly, I've been silent about them. So, to catch everyone up to speed, here's my take on events that have set the interwebs a-twitter.

  1. Batffleck - Ben Affleck as Batman. WHAT?!?!?!? It's funny how, just a few months ago, we were all screaming about how snubbed Ben was by the Oscars (Argo - Best Director. Anybody? No? Ok.) and now we can only remember him for Daredevil and Gigli. I mean, come on. Before Heath Ledger was the Joker he was Jacob Grimm, a role we all wish we could forget.
  2. Orson Scott Card - WHAT?!?!?!?!? I'd like to take a moment and write an open letter to Hollywood: Dear People With Money, All novelists are not crazy and most of us would actually LIKE to see a movie adaptation of our book succeed. Signed: Isaiah Campbell (ps. contact my agent for those movie rights you're obviously looking for.)
  3. The NSA - WHAT?!?!?!? Come on, guys, if you're going to throw the conspiracy theorists a bone, at least warn the writing community first. Spread the wealth, man. Now if only they'd tell us Area 51 exists.
  4. Area 51 is real - WHAT?!?!?!?!? Dang it! I don't even have a good alien story lying around to send to my agent. Come on! Advanced warning! Please!
  5. Twinkies are back - WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!? It's strange how I haven't wanted a Twinkie in at least twenty years but now I crave them every time I go to the store.
Alright, I think that about covers everything. Keep on keeping on, Internet. DFTBA. Excelsior. Stay classy. And, from all of us here at Metro News One, have a good evening.