Wednesday, January 7, 2015

"How Luthor Met Superboy" A review by Johnny Cannon

Like I did last time, I'm handing my blog over to Johnny Cannon, star of my book The Troubles of Johnny Cannon, to review a comic he probably read.

1960 was one of them years that felt really big. Elvis left the military and sang "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" The NFL announced they'd be starting a team down in Dallas, called the Cowboys. And John F. Kennedy started campaigning for the Presidency.

And, in Adventure Comics #271, we found out how Superboy first met Lex Luthor. Hot Dang!

See, it all started cause a new kid moved into Smallville and Superboy wanted to go over and say "Hey." But just when he was heading that way, some Kryptonite just happened to crash right in front of him. Thankfully, before he was ever an evil scientist, Lex Luthor was just hillbilly enough to drive a tractor and get that hunk of kryptonite knocked out of the way.

Yup, turns out Lex Luthor was a big fan of Superboy. In fact, he done got himself the craziest Superboy shrine there's ever been, and I got one myself under my bed. Look at this thing:

Well, anyhow, Superboy was so grateful to Lex for saving him and such, he figured he'd give him a present. And, since Lex told him he was aiming someday to be a scientist, Superboy did the only natural thing to do, he built him a whole high tech science lab. Then, to top it off, he did this:

Which makes perfect since. I mean, if you hear that some fella you only just met was interested in hunting, then of course you'd give him a fully stocked weapons locker and keys to a tank. Right?

But it sure made Lex happy. He went right ahead and told Superboy that he was gonna become famous cause he had a super awesome idea for a new formula.

Lesson here: If you got the power to snoop and you done gave some fella enough chemicals that he could probably blow up the whole planet, go ahead and snoop.

Anyway, Lex was so dadgum happy and pleased with what Superboy gave him, he done decided he'd do something to pay Superboy back. (But Superboy had made the lab to pay HIM back. These fellas needed a check ledger.)

Or you could make him brownies. Everybody loves brownies.

Anyway, of course when Lex tries to do his big experiments everything goes wrong, and of course Superboy comes in and saves him. But it ain't without consequences.

I ain't gonna lie, I think Lex looks better without the hair.

Yeah, that's probably true.

But the story don't end there. Lex somehow convinces Superboy that there ain't no hard feelings and that he actually did make an antidote for Kryptonite. So Superboy says they ought to test out the antidote.

Cause there ain't nothing dangerous about this setup at all.

So they go out, Superboy discovers that the antidote works, but then Lex tells him that there ain't no more. After that, Lex tries to prove himself to the folks of Smallville that he's a better hero than Superboy by building a tower that keeps them all warm during the winter (but winds up frying them all in the process) and making seeds that'll grow real fast (but then wind up destroying everything around them), and Superboy keeps showing up and saving folks like he always does.

Finally Lex gets real mad at Superboy and tries to kill him. But it don't work. 'Cause it never works.

See, I reckon maybe Superboy will learn that LL is a bad combination, right? Nope.

To read more from Johnny Cannon, check out my book The Troubles of Johnny Cannon!

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